One day she surprises me with, "so I'm your girlfriend now it seems like? " Full disclosure, we had slept together but were maybe only seeing each other once a week to every ten days. I was a bit taken aback and said my view of us was much more casual. That was about three weeks ago - since then she has peppered my friends with comments on how I "led her on" and "lied" to her, that I told her I wanted to be in a serious relationship with her but later admitted I used her only for sex. She's told them I'm stalking her online based on the fact that we're still IG and Snapchat friends and I've viewed or liked some of her posts/stories (I click on pictures I like, period). I don't actually think I deceived this woman, but I'm open to outside criticism. I DO want a serious relationship, it just didn't go that way. Should I be spelling out the "let's just be friends" or "friends with benefits" speech a lot sooner if that's all I'm feeling, because I assumed that was actually the default until a conversation happened to the contrary?
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I've seen a few girls since then, the one I'm wondering about was a friend of a friend of a friend situation I met while out. She's an attractive woman physically and we had a decent but short chat, I was passed her number later by a friend. I asked her to a friend's open house/gallery and lunch about a week out, and leading up to that we kept in contact via text. She seemed interesting in that she had quite a few hobbies, subjects she seemed interested in. When we met up she was dressed up and done up and I could tell she put effort in, I assumed she also scoped out my dating profile as she made reference to a few things I had listed on it. That's fine, of course I expected her to check me out, Google me, what have you. Date went well, like I said, she's a beautiful woman and although she seemed a little dry (shy, I assumed) I asked her out again. Cutting to the chase here, while I was attracted to her, the dryness never really seemed to fade as I assumed it would after the initial shyness wore off.
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Rather, it became more pronounced. How do I describe, she would list these things she was into, or something about herself, but instead of telling me once and then showing me, she just kept repeating herself. Okay, it's awesome you're into architecture - let's go check out a cool building, or do the city's tour! You like horses, awesome, let's go riding! You're spontaneous and into adventure, plan an adventure instead of waiting for me to choose every damn thing we do. Everything with her was like a checklist - she baked me a cake for my birthday, but it felt like she did it to be recognized for baking me the cake. She talked about it for weeks. Originally, I did tell her my long term goals were to settle down. After about a month though, I can tell you it just wasn't with her. I didn't break things off specifically though because we had never determined we were exclusive to begin with, and the occasional activity was still fun for an afternoon, whatever. Yet, we started spending less time around each other.